


On Track

by starsungie



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Beta Read, Pining, Slow Burn, Unresolved Romantic Tension, the angst isnt so bad though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:15:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26731978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsungie/pseuds/starsungie
Summary: kim seungmin has loved lee felix for so long its exhausting.
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Lee Felix, Other pairings, minor hyunjin/seungmin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	1. episode one : the many walks taken

**Author's Note:**

> note for the fic: the school system is very americanized because its what i knew how to write best so sorry if that bothers you... but! i hope you enjoy anyway! 
> 
> also, ive written half of this so expect an update once a week for a while hehehehehe 
> 
> oh! the first chapter has some trigger warning such as underage drinking and an older woman being too touchy to the characters who are minors in the first couple chapters! it is not too explicit nor is there anything further that happens but be safe!

other students admire seungmin’s discipline. he wakes up an hour before school to study, focuses intensely in class while taking neat notes, and studies hours after school is dismissed. he is the student all teachers praise, the student with the highest grades in class, an absolute dandy boy. outside looking in, seungmin is a respectable, polite boy and a hardworking student. seungmin himself has no qualms with that image as he feels that it is an accurate representation of himself. it’s just that he was currently out at 2 am walking to a convenience store to buy ibuprofen after ripping his notes and throwing all his textbooks onto a scattered mess on the floor. 

it’s pretty outside, he thinks. he’s in a safe korean neighborhood, so he feels pretty safe. in fact, he feels more irritated than scared, so the calm night is a great respite from his stuffy yet minimalistic room. he doesn’t know what’s wrong, but it feels like all his anxieties and worries collided into one and in a moment he snapped and ruined his notes. he’s all alone, studying, working hard, for what? where are his friends, what does he even want to be in the future, is anything he’s doing worth anything? on and on. 

as he walks, he hums a tune until the humming becomes singing. he loves singing and music. he knows he won’t have a career in it, but it calms him, and makes him happy. so he sings as he walks to the convenience store in hopes of calming his frustrations and anxieties. 

inside the store is mostly empty, and he goes to the medicine aisle, picking up a box and keenly reading its content and directions. he’s so engross in reading that he jumps when he hears a snort. looking up, across the shelf he sees one of his classmates, lee felix, recent transfer from australia. he’s worries for a second, not liking the thought of his good boy image being spoiled. 

“hello,” he greets politely. 

“you know it’s like 2 am right? what is dandy boy seungmin doing out at a time like this?”

seungmin internally cringes at the nickname. “i’m not causing trouble. i’m just grabbing some-”

“do you want to?”

seungmin blinks. “huh?” 

“do you want to cause some trouble,” felix giggles, and it’s then seungmin notices a couple of other students, all suspicious looking, gathering at the corner of the store. 

“no,” seungmin says slowly as he looks back to felix. felix raises his eyebrows. 

“why not? are you really that much of a good kid?”

“yes.” 

felix smiles then, and it surprises seungmin how beautiful it looks. then he notices the freckles starring his face. 

“ok, good for you. that just means you’re a little boring.” felix walks back to his friends and seungmin is just a little stunned by his words. he grips the small box in his hand, stomps away, pays for it and leaves. there is absolutely nothing wrong with being boring right? seungmin tries his best to convince himself of this, but the words still hurt. he knows all the studying he does affects his friendships, knows that its the reason why he’s all by himself these days. but this is just the way he accumstomed himself to be. it was both a source of stress and comfort to have that grueling study routine. in fact, if he remembers clearly, lee felix was a student with one of the lowest grades in class. he had no right to judge seungmin! 

despite all that, felix’s words haunts seungmin’s walk back home. those words made him study just a bit more before he fell asleep. so what if he’s boring? at least he’s not a lazy student.

***

the next morning he feels limb heavied tired, but pushes himself to do his usual routine. he wakes up and immediately showers, drys his hair and body, puts on his uniform and hurries down the stairs for his green vegetable smoothie breakfast. he runs down the sidewalks and reaches the bus stop, hops on, and studies until the bus reaches the stop near his school. he arrives early, of course, an hour beforehand, and spends the time studying. then the school bell rings and the students arrive, all sleepy and reluctant. seungmin notices, though unwillingly, that felix arrived late, with messy hair and messy uniform. seriously? why bother showing up dressed like that, it’s so unprofessional. 

he’s ready to continue the rest of his routine, which would be diligent note taking, and does do so, until about midday when his teacher calls him out in math. he freezes, unsure why the teacher would call him. sometimes they do to congratulate him on a well done test or of an academic reward, but none of the sort has happened recently. 

“felix, you too.” 

what. what the fuck. seungmin turns to where felix abruptly lifts his head up from the table. no way, what did seungmin have to do with this lazy student? 

the three of them walk out the classroom, and there’s an awkward tension between them as they stand outside the classroom, quiet for a few seconds. the teacher coughs, then straightens up. seungmin stands straight as well, but felix just snorts. seungmin rolls his eyes at this.

“well, thank you two for coming out with me. seungmin, you’re my best student. and felix, you are my student struggling the most. which is why i’d like for you two to work together.”

pause. this cannot be happening. seungmin looks at felix, who is mouth agape. he wants to scoff because really? seungmin should be the one looking indignant. he already has so much responsibility and he didn’t need another burden on his shoulder. just because he gave off the boy next door teachers pet vibe did not mean he was ok with all of it. yet, he had to uphold his perfect standard.

“of course, miss kim, i would be glad to help.” 

he smiles brightly at her for good measure, and is given one back. she really wasn’t a bad teacher, but he wished she didn’t make him do this. 

“i mean, i don’t think i need this miss.” 

she frowns at felix. “i really think you do. i don’t need to say your recent test scores out loud, do i?”

“oop- no!! no you don’t!” felix says with his hands lifting and shaking. 

miss kim smirks. “well then, i expect you both to meet after class, and we’ll see the result in two months when midterms arrive.” 

then she enters the classroom, and before the two of them go in, felix whispers, “stupid bitch.” 

seungmin enters the classroom with wide eyes.

***

it does stress him out for the rest of the day, especially since miss kim was obviously expecting this to work. every time he glances in felix’s direction, he’s always doodling in his notebook, staring at the window and daydreaming, or tapping the desk without paying any attention to the instructor. he’s hopeless. eventually seungmin just pushes it out of his mind and returns to his familiar zone of diligent note taking and rigorous studying. when the time comes for all of them to leave school, seungmin has to hurry his things away in order to catch up to felix.

“hey, wait! where are you going,” seungmin says, finally walking in step with felix as they leave the building. felix looks at him with a frown.

“what? what do you want?” 

“we’re supposed to study together now.” 

felix snorts. “wait you didn’t take any of that seriously, did you?” 

seungmin glares. “yes, i did. unlike you, i actually care about school.” 

felix stops his steps, tongue pushing into the side of his mouth. “what, you want a gold medal? so fucking what, i didn’t agree to this.” 

“but you did. come on, come over to my house.” 

felix snorts again. “are you flirting with me?” 

seungmin freezes. huh? what? what does that even mean??? 

“anyway,” felix continues, “i’m hanging out with my friends today, so see ya.” 

felix walks away, which snaps seungmin out of whatever weird phase he was in, and huffs. he catches up to felix again, and he really didn’t want to make a scene especially since there were still students walking on the same sidewalks they were. the sky was turning dark at this point since it was almost winter, and seungmin wants to be warm inside his bedroom instead of chasing after a boy who won’t do his schoolwork. 

“felix!”

“dandy boy seungmin! go study and leave me alone.” 

“please, can we work this out? miss kim is counting on me i can’t let her down or she’ll let my parents know i’m not being a good student.”

“blah blah blah,” felix says, making puppet gestures with his hand. “why do you care so much about all that? sounds boring and stuffy to me.”

seungmin purses his lips. “why don’t you care about any of that? sounds like you’re risking your future to me.” 

“i’m gonna be a dancer i don’t care about books.” 

seungmin sighs. “let’s cooperate, alright?” 

felix stares at him for a while, and hope begins to rise within seungmin. please let him be a good students for once, seungmin really can’t have him ruin his perfect reputation. 

“ok then. how about this: if i have to be a good student, then you have to be a bad student. a give and take, if you will.” 

“but being a bad student is what i’m trying to avoid.”

“well then, bye.” 

“wait no,” seungmin grabs onto felix arms. felix looks at seungmin's hand, and seungmin snatches it back. “fine. but what do you mean?” 

felix grins. “before we begin studying, let’s go clubbing.” 

***

they did end up in seungmin’s room but not in the way he thought. felix is rummaging through his closet which was really rude and right after seungmin had cleaned up his mess from a night ago his room was being messed up again. but this was the agreement they came to and seungmin just wants the night to end before it even begins. felix changed his clothes first before coming over, and what he was wearing was something seungmin never saw him wear before. very skinny jeans hugging his legs and a shirt that showed off his collarbones and shoulders since it was too big. he had on light makeup and even if seungmin never thought boys could wear makeup he quietly admitted to himself that it looks nice on felix. though he thought it was a shame it covered his freckles. 

“okay, wear this,” felix says, and he brings out clothes seungmin’s older sister had bought him months ago. they were dark and too fashionable while seungmin usually wears brighter colored modest clothes. however he does as he’s told and changes into the clothes felix presented. in the mirror he sees himself and doesn’t feel like it’s him. he looks older.

“are you done,” felix asks from the other side. instead of answering, seungmin opens the door. felix grins and it reminds seungmin of the smile he gave him in the convenience store, innocent and full of sunshine. seungmin didn't know what to think of it. “you look great!”

“hm. are you sure? i don't usually wear this style.”

felix rolls his eyes. “you look more than great. cmon, its nine already.”

seungmin reluctantly follows him, sighing as he puts his hand in his jacket as they go outside the chilly air. he sticks close to felix, feeling the warmth radiate off his body. they hop on a bus that heads off in the direction of itaewon. the lights from reflect off the windows, neon red blues and greens. seungmin stares outside at the lights and the people walking down the sidewalks, some beginning to move in a drunken fashion. this isnt really up seungmin’s alley. he should be in his room right now, deep in study. he didnt even go to cram school today. he bets felix doesnt even go to cram school. speaking of felix, he looks at him right now and is surprised that he was calm, eyes closed and head laying on the headrest. was he tired? sleepy? or did he just have a lot on his mind, thinking? seungmin, for some odd reason, wants the answers to all of this. 

“are we going alone?” seungmin asks instead. “or are some of your friends going too?” 

felix hums in thought, then his eyes snap open with a smile on his lips. “dont worry, you have me all to yourself tonight.”

seungmin gapes at him, mouth open before scoffing. “i just dont want a lot of people knowing im breaking the rules. how are we even able to enter the club?”

felix laughs. “easy! i just speak english and pretend my korean isnt great and theyll think im a foreign tourist old enough to enter.”

even when he looks like a baby? seungmin decides not to speak that thought aloud. “ok, but what about me?”

felix punches his shoulder lightly, which, ok. “youre mr smartest student alive. im sure you can bust out your best english and follow along.”

he has a point. still hes nervous when they step on their stop and approach whichever club felix was brining them tonight. hes glad that theres many people for them to blend into, and that along with felix make up and confidence they had a chance to pass as adults. seungmin decides felix must be an expert at these sorts of things, and trusts him that they could play this off. when they arrive at the entrance, felix attaches himself to seungmin’s arm and grins at the bouncer. he fucking bashses his eyelash at him, and speaks in rapid quick english. the bouncer looks at seungmin and asks, “youre with him?” in korean. 

“ah, sorry im not that great in korean,” seungmin replies in english. the bouncer looks flustered and just lets them inside. felix giggles. 

“see? i told you it would work!” 

“huh. i really wasnt expecting that,” seungmin responds, still a little dumbfounded that they managed to enter while still only being seventeen. “this is crazy,” he says, looking as a crowd of people, older people, are crowded in the middle of the room as heavy bassed music plays loudly. 

“right? when i came to korea i was surprised how boring some of the clubs were, but this one is pretty fun. cmon,” felix says, leading him further in and detaching himself from his arm. huh. it felt nice when they were closer, less vulnerable, but seungmin shrugs off the uncertainty. felix orders drinks and shoves one in front of seungmin. 

“drink this.”

“id prefer not to.”

felix tilts his head. “ok.” he downs one of the drinks, then sips from the other. he pulls them towards the crowd. seungmin feels out of his element, and really wishes this night could speed up. nobody really notices them, nor cares, and eventually they lose themselves in the crowd. seungmin panics when he loses felix. the club is dim, dark red lighting, and the people feel stuffy around him. a woman comes up from behind him, tapping his shoulder. he turns around, and she smiles at him.

“you look a little too young to be here,” she says, invading his personal space. he leans back, hoping she'd let off. 

“uh, no, im definitely old enough.”

she giggles. “yeah sure. ill keep your secrets. i like them young anyway.”

alright, she has officialy creeped the fuck out of him. he pushes her off firmly, and pushes himself out of the crowd, feeling his head become dizzy even when he didnt drink any alcohol. this wasnt bad at first, but of course it was going to end this way, uncomfortable. he makes it where theres less people, and is ready to leave, but he thinks of felix whos so young and who drank being among that crowd where people like that woman have no problem soliciting a minor. he turns, and looks for him, and jumps when someone holds onto his arm. not this again. but when he sees who it is, he sighs in relief. 

“this is fun righ! better than studying at least,” felix laughs. seungmin glares at him, which makes felix pout. “why are you looking at me like that?” the slur is there, though not so obvious. his hair is tussled, and the sides of his cheek and neck have bright red lipstick. he feels like throwing up. 

“were leaving now,” seungmins says. 

“w-what, why?” 

“this isnt the type of place we should be.”

felix frowns, and steps away, crossing his arms. “what the fuck is that supposed to mean? this was the deal, wasnt it? weve barely been here for fifteen minutes. would you really waste your entire life in your room studying? thats- thats so boring.” 

boring. seungmin already fucking knows hes boring, has no social life, and does nothing but study. “yeah, actually, id rather study than hang out at some club where people ten years older than me want to harass me.”  
felix blushes, and lifts his shiet up so it doesn't show so much skin. seungmin rolls his eyes. “let's just go, yeah?”

felix nods, and they walk outside in silence, the chilly air hitting harder than before. the neon lights don't look as pretty anymore, but just like artificial lights, anything but special. seungmin wouldn't say hes angry, but hes far from happy. still, he glances beside him and checks on felix, making sure he's able to walk. eventually he stumbles, and seungmin catches him before he could fall, walking with an arm around him to keep him stable. 

“thanks,” felix mumbles. seungmin doesn't reply. 

on the bus, felix finally speaks. “did- i mean… no one did anything to you, right?”

seungmin didn't know what to say. “no. i mean, some lady did try to push herself on me, but she didn't do anything other than that.”

felix nods, and he slumps down further in his seat, leaning more against seungmin. “sorry about that. i forgot people could be assholes.”

seungmin thought it over a bit, then asks, “and you? are you ok?”

felix hides his face into seungmin’s shoulder. “geez, i was drunk, so i let her kiss me. im a little sober now, and i really wished that didn't happen.”

seungmin lays his head against the window, and breathes in and out. “sorry. i wish we didn't separate like that.”

felix snorts. “i should also be sorry about that. i was supposed to make sure you weren't totally lost considering this was your first time.”

“don't take all of the blame.”

“hm. ok.”

the rest of the ride went much better. he heard the soft breathing of felix as he fell asleep with the soft pattering of rain against the window. 

***

when they make it to seungmin’s stop, felix wakes and blinks. seungmin smiles, and wishes he didn't find him a little cute. then felix curses under his breath.  
“seungmin, can i ask a favor.”

“uhh, sure.”

“let me stay over. im really not in the mood to explain to my roommate why im out so late, he'd be so disappointed. or worse, he'll tell my parents.”

seungmin thinks this over briefly, but he was extremely tired at this point and didn't really care what happens. his parents were gone on a business meeting, and they trust his son to be alone, so there really wasn't a problem with felix staying over. it was also how he got away with being able to go out late. besides, other than the fact that felix didn't want to get in trouble, seungmin could tell he was really tired, even after the nap on the bus. he didn't want felix to go to the further trouble of going back home alone. 

“just for tonight, and only because im too tired to argue,” seungmin says. felix grins widely at him.

“thank you,” he says, and when they're off the bus, he gives seungmin the biggest hug hes ever felt. 

inside, seungming contemplates who'd have to sleep on the floor of his bedroom. he really was tired, but it didn't feel right that felix had to sleep on the floor. when felix returns from washing his face in the bathroom and wearing the spare sleeping clothes seungmin gave him, he asks, “what are you thinking so deeply about?” 

“oh. i was wondering who'd have to sleep on the floor.”

felix shrugs. “why don't we just share the bed?”

seungmin pauses. well, they could do that, but wouldn't that be a little… its then that seungmin notices the bags under felix’s eyes, but underneath that were his freckles out in bloom, constellations on his face. he looks comfortable in seungmin's clothes, and he so easily recommended they share a bed. there shouldn't be a problem with that, right? there's no reason for this sudden gut wrenching feeling, an anxiousness arising from nowhere. the worse part was that the anxiousness felt less from something like finding out hes had a bad grade and more like the anticipation from searching the results of his test grade when he knew he'd done well. it all confuses seungmin. felix hands wave in front of seungmin. 

“woohoo, you there? you're not seriously bothered by this, are you? its not a gay thing, ok, don't worry that you wont be straight anymore. we’ll stay on our sides, ok?” 

seungmin blushes, and stutters for a moment. “i wasn't worried about that!” 

felix grins, and it isn't fair how laid back he is. they both end up on the bed, distant and turned on their sides with their backs facing each other. the blanket covers them both, and seungmin’s glad that its able to when they're as far as they could be. even so, seungmin could feel felix’s presence behind him, and a small bit of that anxiousness appears again, withholding him from sleep. the lights of his room were off, but the curtains were open and the moon was big and bright, beautiful. moonlight filtered through, almost landing on felix and seungmin and the white blankets of his bed. it was completely silent except for the sounds of breathing, different from when they were on the bus and sounds of cars could still be heard. here in this neighborhood, outside was calm. 

“hey seungmin?”

“yeah felix?’

“goodnight.”

seungmin sighs, and relaxes into his bed. the anxiousness leaves his body, and is replaces by sleepiness and comfort. as he closes his eyes, his breath evens.

“goodnight felix,” he murmurs into sleep. 

***

in class, seungmin keeps glancing back at felix, and he sees him actually writing some notes down. he's distracted. seungmin, for the first time in a long while, is distracted in class because the boy he knew for almost half a year in his class but never interacted with until recently was actually doing schoolwork. he was sure felix didn't know of his existence until this week. what sort of irony was this? was he actually the bad student now? he sighs and turns back to his own notes, glad the teacher is lecturing with her back towards the class. he didn't want to be called out for staring at felix. and he knows the answer to those questions had to do with this morning. warm and comfortable in his bed, waking up with soft sunrise in the window, and with felix arms clinging around seungmin’s torso. seungmin leans down his chair, and hides into his shoulders. he risks a glance towards felix who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow and slight smile. he lifts his notebook and written there with his practiced hangul said : distracted? why? 

seungmin looks at the front just in time for miss kim to address the class and look at everyone, making sure they were paying attention. seungmin sits up. he breathes in and out and loses himself in the routine he's placed on himself since middle school. focus and study. it doesn't matter that seungmin still thinks back on that morning and remembers the anticipation return in full, nor that he couldn't stop staring at felix’s freckles, a newfound addiction. and when felix was stirring awake, seungmin had pretended to sleep, and held his breath as he wondered if felix was also staring back at him. he had opened his eyes to see warm chocolate brown ones staring back. the awkward stuttering. no, none of that was distracting him at all, he is a grade a student and-

“seungmin are you alright? do you feel sick? you haven't been responding.” 

“uh, yes, miss kim, im listening,” seungmin says, and some of his classmates snicker at that a little. “i just studied a little late last night.”

“oh just remember that sleep is equally important. ill let it slide.”

“if it was me id have detention. of course shed let him off the hook,” seungmin hears his classmates, and rolls his eyes. if they want more praise and less strictness, they should work harder. his teachers words knocks off the remaining daze he was in, and for the rest of the day he was able to work as well as he normally does. he's glad today is friday, so that he could pull himself together over the weekend. he's reminded of the deal with his teacher and felix when felix walks in step with seungmin to his house again, reminiscent of the few previous times they walked together, like this morning when seungmin walked felix to the bus stop before, quiet and sleepy. 

“seungmin! we’re studying today,” felix says out of nowhere, startling seungmin out of his thoughts.

“oh. right.”

felix slings an arm around seungmin’s shoulder and he wonders when their gestures became this friendly. they really only hung out once, yesterday. he doesn't say anything though, and decides over how he’ll incorporate felix into his study schedule. he guesses he won't be going to cram school for a while, so he should remind his parents not to pay for that for a while. sure they might have some issues, but they weren't here right now so he pushes that aside. they walk together and seungmin sighs a wisp of breath into the autumn air. the trees around them were full of orange red and brown leaves. the sun was out more than usual, and it fitted that it would shine more than usual with someone like felix next to him. wait what? what was that supposed to mean? 

in his room, they settle on the floor around the small table where they place their things. everything is actually going well, and seungmin is beginning to think that maybe felix wasn't that bad of a student. maybe seungmin just wasn't paying attention to him before. then, fifteen minutes later, felix sighs dramatically and flops backwards onto the carpet. 

“i can't do this anymore! it's torture!” 

seungmin’s lips part in disbelief. “we've barely done anything. we still have three hours.”

felix sits up in astonishment. “three hours! ha, three fucking hours! you're crazy.”  
“sure. but we have an argreement, do we not?”

“but we were only at the club for about an hour. how about an equal exchange?”

seungmin tilts his head. “do you really not study three hours? you know on weekends i study for eight. that's tomorrow.”

felix shakes his head firmly, arms crossing in an x formation. “no, absolutely not. tomorrow were doing something, got it?”

“only if we actually study today.” 

felix rolls his eyes, but picks up his pencil and leans towards the table to read his textbooks. for five minutes seungmin believes this could end up working, but felix sighs again. 

“can we at least take a break every ten minutes?”

“every hour.”

“half hour!”

“urgh. Fine.”

felix cheers silently, and returns to his work. they work for the thirty minutes and felix immediately stands and stretches when the clock indicates the time. seungmin can't help but snort at his antics. sure he'd prefer not to have his studies disturbed, but felix’s interruptions were somewhat amusing. while seungmin continues studying, felix walks around the room, and begins to dance very lightly in an open space. it makes seungmin watch for a while, and he realizes that felix can dance well. he thinks back to their second conversation, where felix claimed he would be a dancer. something so artistic and expressive, and something his parents would never let seungmin do. something like singing. 

felix doesn't even notice seungmin watching, so seungmin turns to his work glad he's unnoticed. a couple minuted later felix joins him again and they work for the hour. in the third brake, felix sighs heavily again, drawing seungmin’s attention. 

“hey seungmin lets go on a walk.” 

seungmin hates going on walks duing the hours of his study sessions. usually he takes walks before or after the intense hours of studying. but felix had been fidgeting around a lot, and he seems the type to rejuvenate with fresh air. so, even if it was disruptive to seungmin, he couldn't say no. after all, it wasn't like felix wanted to end up here either. they were both victims of their teacher’s scheme.  
so, they put on their jackets and seungmin hides his smile behind his collar as felix jumps in excitement. when they’re outside, its considerably darker, but the neighborhood lights reassure them. 

“lets buy snacks,” felix proposes and seungmin nods. they head towards the convenience store, and seungmin feels deja vu from two nights ago where he had his mental breakdown and walked out at 2 am. it was odd that the situation he was in right now was similar, but without the mental breakdown and with felix besides him instead of waiting for him in the store to call him boring. the walk isn't long, and seungmin allows himself to pleasantly talk with felix about little things, such as what favorite brands their snack was, and favorite drink, etc. at last the small store comes into view, but before they could enter, felix stops in his steps. seungmin looks at him, about to ask him what's wrong, but pauses when he sees felix’s panicked expression.

“oh fuck,” felix says, and seungmin follows the direction his gaze was focused. outside the store was a group of slightly older kids lingering. seungmin stares at them for a while, trying to remember why they were so familiar. meanwhile, seungmin was unaware that felix was tugging on his arm, hoping they could turn away silently without drawing any attention. 

“ah!” seungmin exclaims suddenly, and the older kids look their way. “they’re the people you were with last time!” 

the older kids spot felix, and they all began to grin. felix sure does have a lot of friends. yet, seungmin had this off feeling. beside him, felix curses softly, then gave the group his own smile. but it was different from the smiles seugmin had seen from him, less gentle and genuine and more nervous. 

“ah, seobin! nice seeing you here?”

the group didn't respond, but they began surrounding the two of them, leering. seungmin slowly realizes that though felix was associated with this group a couple days ago it was clear they weren't friends. out of nowhere, seungmin felt protective of this boy he barely knew, but was determined to have the best grades for their midterm exams. he pushes felix behind him and approaches the group with his best glare, because honestly? he was a little annoyed that they wouldn't be able to buy the snacks felix wanted. 

“what do you want,” seungmin demands. “we’re trying to buy something.” 

their obvious leader, seobin, scoffs. “fuck off, this has nothing to do with you. its between me and that pussy behind you who bailed on us a few nights ago.”

“hey, i never wanted to break into peoples houses! and i didn't, so why should i stick around when the cops showed up,” felix pipes up, and seungmin is oddly proud of him. seobin drops his smirk and snarls, glare twisting up an otherwise handsome face. he stomps forward, and seungmin blocks his way to felix. the punch to seungmin’s face and burst of pain is unexpected. seungmin’s hand immediately lifts to his nose where blood was gushing out. 

“ow,” he groans out. he glares at seobin, and from behind, felix returns a punch. 

“don't hurt my friend, dickhead,” felix shouts, and seungmin almost can't breath. under the streetlight, felix was glowing as he punches and kicks whoever approaches him. seungmin’s heart races, and part of it was in fact the adrenaline mixing into whatever entrance felix placed him into. when someone lands a hit on felix, seungmin backs him up and punches the guy square on the face. his fists hurts like hell, but he doesn't care, because all he has on his mind is protecting felix, protecting each other. however, they were clearly outmatched, so on the best chance seungmin grabs onto felix’s hand and they run the fuck out of there, fresh bruises and blood on their face. the autumn air burns at their nose and throat, but they don't stop as they twist around the neighborhood hoping to lose them. when they do, they hurry to seungmin’s home, and they’re breathing hard even when they make it to his room. 

“holy shit,” seungmin swears. felix laughs, 

“seungmin! don't swear,” he giggles. “i can't believe we did that!”

“you can't believe that? i can't either!” 

they’re so close, and they're laughing, and everything feels so good when their faces hurt so much, and its almost like life is present all around them, in their eyes and smiles, and its unknown how it happens, but they lean closer and closer and they kiss like they survived a war. 

***


	2. episode two: the many dates taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: use of the f slur towards the end.

the alarm clock rings and seungmin moves blearily, shutting it off by extending his arm towards the nightstand. he checks its time. 6:01 am. saturday morning, an entire day free from school. felix and him had exchanged phone numbers at the end of their study session, and he messaged seungmin that since they studied yesterday, seungmin had to go outside instead of staying in. he said- ‘i set something up for you!’ what it was, seungmin had no clue, but he was supposed to be at their park by ten, so seungmin took the spare time he had to try and get in some study before he was taken away from it again. 

yesterday’s study session…yeah. seungmin lifts the blanket over his head and tries to hide from his memories. they... kissed. they kissed, right they did that. that was seungmin’s first kiss, but obviously it wasn’t felix’s because he had just pulled back and smiled sheepishly and said ‘oops, sorry, i tend to kiss people on accident.’ what? he just did that? seungmin had just laughed nervously back and after cleaning their injuries they just resumed their studies. he doesn't linger on how when they were cleaning blood and applying bandages, their fingers were gentle, touching each other with care. he can't keep thinking about any of it.

he also can't hide forever, so he just pushes that issue aside, and jumps out the bed to get ready for the day. besides, he should just act like felix. he should brush it off like its not a big thing, because it wasn't really. he wasn't even gay. or, he didn't even know if he was. and it wasn't a romantic thing either, they were just high from the adrenaline. by the time it was ten, seungmin had dismissed the entire situation as a stupid accident. 

at the park, he waits around, hand stuffed in his jacket pockets and readying himself to whatever felix prepared for them. it goes this way for five minutes, until one of his classmates, eunji, taps his shoulder. he looks down at her, since she was so short, and he noticed she’s dressed better than he’s seen her before, which wasnt much since he only sees his classmates with their uniforms on. she looks nice.

“hi seungmin,” she says, and she sounds sweet and shy. then she gapes at his bruised face. “are you okay”

“oh, this? dont worry about it.” he tried his best to use some of his mother's makeup to cover up a bit, but he'll work on hiding the small bruises better if she could still tell. maybe he'll ask felix...

she nods, but she still looks surprised to see him that way. eventually she just smiles, and it sort of reminds seungmin how felix would like at him. “ok, i wont worry. so, do you want to go to a cafe together?”

he widens his eyes. “eh? oh, im supposed to meet my friend here.”

she giggles. “yeah, felix right? he said that i was your surprised date… if thats ok?”

seungmin doesn't know what to say. when felix said he set something up for him, he meant… a date? seriously? he just decides to have more people shoved into his life? whatever. 

“sure, why not,” seungmin repsonds, and smiles at her sweetly, because he doesn't want to treat her badly. they look around the park then go to a nearby cafe, and they speak about schoolwork and introduce each other to their small likes and dislikes. it isn't so bad, and he actually likes being outside on a sunny autumn day. yet there's something in the back of his mind, something that feels a little bit like disappointment. he was getting used to being around felix, and he sort of wanted to see him again. he hopes eunji cant tell, because she was being so sweet and nice, and she smiled coyly before lifting her cup of coffee to her lips. when he sees her lips he thinks of felix’s on his, and has to shake himself out of it. its around twelve by the end of the date, and though time did pass by quick, he wants to go home already. 

“thank you for spending time with me,” seungmin says, and she smiles at him. then, she braces herself and leans up to peck him on the lips. she pulls back with a fierce blush. 

“thank you. it was nice,” she says, then turns around and leaves quickly without letting seungmin say a word. 

he touches his lips, and the ghost of hers is still there. again, he notices there wasn't much of anything stirring in his chest. 

***

it isn't until monday when he sees felix again. he spent the remaining of his weekend like he use to before felix stationed into his life. he heard no words from him, and he was too unsure to message him at all. because did felix really want seungmin messaging him in whatever cool thing he was doing and be reminded of what a bore seungmin was? no thanks. 

when he enters the classroom, a little bit later then usual, there are more students there, and at the other side of where he sits he sees eunji spot him and shoot him a smile. he looks behind him, then looks at her, and realized shes smiling at him. so he waves at her and she giggles, and the girls around her laugh along with her. ok. weird. seungmin was used to his classmates laughing at him for being an overly studious teacher's favorite, but this type of laughing felt less like mocking and more… friendly? he was unsure. when he sits he catches felix at his own desk with his head down, most likely asleep. he must have spent his night out with some other ‘friends.’ the thought left seungmin bothered. of course felix would rather go out and party or whatever instead of being around boring seungmin. fuck, whats wrong with seungmin? he sounds so clingy. why should he care in the first place? he should be glad he got the extra time to study. some of his classmates can come dangerously close to his top spot. 

seungmin hates himself more for taking it all back when felix sends him a note in class. it says ‘do you really have your phone off during class? how am i supposed to send you secret texts? writing is risky.’ 

he really doesn't want to smile, but its almost like his lips tilt upwards in defiance. he looks at felix, who pretends to know nothing, but he glances quick at seungmin and flashes a quick smile, before dropping it like it wasn't there, and returns his attention to the front of the class. that split second smile made seungmin’s heart skip a beat, and he really really hates it, but he sort of likes it too. is this what having an actual friend meant? secret messages and skipped heartbeats? its the first time seungmin’s experienced something like this. he doesn't really make time for friends, but he feels like he’d change his mind for felix. 

it isn't until class is over, and felix waits for him at his desk when seungmin looks up and responds to the note. “sending notes in class isn't what a good student would do. you're breaking the deal.”

felix huffs. “well i think you're not great at being a bad student at all, so who’s really breaking the deal here?”

seungmin chooses not to reply and rolls his eyes instead. when he stands and slips on his backpack, felix follows him, and they walk out together, shoulders almost touching. seungmin grips his backpack straps so he wouldn't accidentally brush hands with felix. as they leave the classroom, eunji passes them by, and she waves at them. seungmin waves back, and felix watches with an amused eye. “so the date went well?”

“it went ok.”

felix hums. they walk for a few seconds in silence, close to the exit of the school building. seungmin releases the straps and lets his hand swing by his side. the outside of their hands brush so slightly, and that tiny contact makes spreads warmth through seungmin’s heart and body. 

“but don't go setting me up on future dates anymore.”

felix laughs and it echoes from the building to the outside, where birds where flying in the air in search for somewhere warmer. 

***

in their second brake from studying, felix groans. “im tired, seugmiiiiiin, im so tiiiiirredddd,” he says, and he pouts, and seungmin almost gives in, but he shakes his head and focuses on his notes. “cmon, stop studying, lets go hang out somewhere else,” he tries, and he shuffles from his side to seungmin’s, and seungmin has to look at him when felix pokes his side. 

“ow!” seungmin says. 

“lets go outside.” 

“no.” 

“please?”

“maybe on our next break. just tell me what you're having trouble with,” seungmin says, and he makes to grab felix’s notes, but felix grasps his wrist just before. his small fingers wrap around it just a bit too tightly, and seungmin raises his eyebrow. felix lets go, and seungmin leaves his notes alone.

“sorry,” felix says, deep voice low and quiet. he looks uncertain, eyes shifting. “i mean, i could ask for help, but every time i do people make fun of me. its stupid, but i kind of stopped asking for help in middle school.” 

seungmin gapes. “your teachers?”

felix shrugs. “she was a meanie. maybe she was having a bad day, but it made feel stupid, you know? i mean, i am stupid.”

“felix,” seungmin says, and he wishes felix wouldn't keep averting his eyes. so he grabs his hand, and loosely twists his fingers into his. “you're not stupid. you came this far without asking for help? that's admirable.”

felix scoffs. “yeah sure. you know i have the lowest score in class, right?”

“and you know this is the most difficult class to get into, right? you're so smart felix.” 

felix still looks unsure. “just let me help you. i wont judge.”

and he really wont. he knows he's had before, but he takes it all back, because felix looks so genuine and open right now that he doesn't ever want to break the trust their nurturing with each other. felix tightens his grip on seungmin’s hand. 

“ok... but then you’ll tell me everything about your date!” 

seungmin startles at how quickly felix recovers from his dim mood, and scoffs. “ok, but not much happened.”

“really? not even a kiss?”

seungmin blushes. he thought felix thought kisses meant nothing, so? 

“no, we did kiss.”

felix’s jaw drop. “what, after your first kiss you're so confident now! tell me-”

seungmin doesn't want to be reminded of either of his kisses.”nope! we study first! our break is over!” 

felix sulks, but as they return to their work, a tension from felix lifts. seungmin is surprised at the difference. instead of tapping his pencil, humming, and playing with his papers, he gingerly asks seungmin questions, and when seungmin responds in a kind voice, he slowly begins to understand the concept and write the answers in a studious manner. seungmin hadn't even noticed that felix was struggling with school, and he feels a little guilty that he judged him at first, and wonders how felix was able to hide it so well. felix looks… cute when he's focusing and trying his best. seungmin is glad their teacher chose him to tutor felix. 

the half hour passes by way quicker than their past sessions, and felix grins. “you said we could go outside on our next break. lets go!”

***

seungmin once again is in a cafe with someone, but this time he's glad its felix in front of him, who's drinking hot chocolate instead of coffee and who smiles brightly instead of shyly. felix was excited to enter since christmas decorations were adorned in the cafe. its november now, and the temperature is dropping every day, so felix ordered a hot chocolate instead of hot coffee because he has a sweet tooth. of course he has a sweet tooth. they sit by a window, and outside, the sun is setting and the sky is a deep blue, tinted with orange and clouds. people walk by, and cars drive, and the world keeps going. seungmin stares at felix sigh into his cup with satisfaction. his freckles were out today, stars across his sweet face. there's barely any bruise left, just a small tint of red on his cheeks. felix’s eyes catch onto seungmin’s and he smiles that sunshine smile. 

“are you going out with eunji now?”

“huh? no,” seungmin says, caught by surprise. 

“eh? but i thought you two kissed…”

seungmin shrugs. “sure, but it was just a peck, and to be honest… i didn't really feel anything.”

felix tilts his head. “did you not like her?”

“i did. she was really nice and pretty. i just don't like kissing people.” 

felix snorts. “are you sure? it seemed like you really did when we kissed.”

seungmin’s eyes widen and even felix looks like he said that without thinking. they stare at each other for a few seconds, and felix’s eyes drop down onto seungmin’s lips and seugmin blushes when he sees that, and looks at felix lips as well. they’re pink, and they look soft, and seungmin remembers that it felt so good when they kissed for minutes after being breathless, breaths escaping their lips as they explored each others mouths, and hands cupped around faces, coursing through hair, sliding down their necks. nothing at all like how eunji kissed him. 

“are you gay?” felix asks out of nowhere. 

“i dont know,” seungmin answers without thought, open and honest. felix grins, and leans forward. 

“im bi, so i wont say anything stupid if you are. like, i really really like boys.”

seungmin nods, and though he's a little confused, he's also really interested in what felix had to say. “how do you know?”

felix sighs and leans back. “well, the person im kind of in love with is a boy, for starters.”

seungmin’s lips part in surprise and felix smiles. “he’s my roomate's friend. i did mention chan right? he's my roommate but he's also my best friend. and one of his best friends comes over a lot and he's a couple years older than me, and hes so dorky and cool, and he's rejected me, so im a little sad. to be honest, i only knew him for half a year, but it still hurts!” 

seungmin nods in understanding though he understands little, and he feels a little weird when felix mentioned that he's already in love with someone. 

“so- who's your crush that made you so confused,” felix asks, sipping his chocolate. seungmin panics. he never really thought about his sexuality until that evening when he and felix- oh. fuck, he quickly thinks of someone else to say, and the first pretty face pops into his head. “hwang hyunjin, from class b.” 

felix chokes on his drink and seungmin startles when he begins coughing, but before he could do anything, felix says, “hyunjin? you like him?”

“uh, yes.”

“that's perfect! hes my friend, and he's definitely interested in exploring his sexuality. i know because we made out at this summers pride parade. he says he's still unsure, so let me set you up on a date with him!”

“huh?” 

“it's great right!”

fuck. “uh, yes, yeah, definitely.”

shit. seungmin knows he doesn't have a crush on hyunjin, he has a maybe-crush on felix who's in love with someone else. what the fuck. 

but felix looks so happy with all this, so seungmin sucks it up and enjoys the rest of their time in the cafe together. 

***

its how he ends up a week later in his room with felix once again shifting through his wardrobe. finding out he has a maybe-crush on felix made their entire week study sessions feel like torture, but helping felix out was more important than whatever stupid feelings seungmin had towards him. its just that, felix sent him heart emojis during class, and he wrote messages about how funny seungmin looks when he's so focused, and seungmin really turned his phone on during class just to hide his smile when he read those ridiculous messages. he and eunji still wave at each other but there was a mutual silent understanding that they just went on one date only which seungmin was glad for. now, he just had to go on another date with someone he doesn't really like all because he can't say no to felix. 

“yes! i found the perfect fit!”

he shows it off to seungmin and seungmin laughs. “i wear this anyway!”

“yes, but its more stylish right?”

“im starting to think maybe you don't know more about fashion than me.”

felix rolls his eye. “you would be right. but you're hyunjin’s type anyway. like a boy next door!”

seungmin rolls his eyes. “ok felix.”

he changes into his clothes just in time for a knock in his door and felix is jumping with excitement. “ok, go answer the door and have fun on your date!”

“you're staying in my room?”

felix snorts. “just until you two leave. don't worry i wont touch your stuff.”

“you touch my stuff whether or not i'm here.”

felix pushes him out the bedroom. “doesn't matter, just go on your date!” 

seungmin stumbles into the living room and huffs. he straightens up and opens the door. hyunjin is on the other side, and woah, okay, he is really pretty. 

“hi,” seungmin squeaks out because for some reason he does feel nervous. this is his first official date with a another boy. 

“hey,” hyunjin says and even his eyes smile with him. there's an awkward shuffle where seungmin shoves out a hand, and hyunjin laughs, but takes it into his, but instead of shaking it, he leads seungmin out the door and holds onto it. they stay like that the entire time, holding hands as they walk towards the bus taking them to the movie theater. unlike felix’s hyunjin’s hands are large, as big as seungmin’s and they feel nice as his long fingers intertwine with seungmin’s. they hardly speak, but its a comfortable silence, and the entire time, hyunjin glances back at him and gives him an eye smile that makes seungmin think that he has crushes too easily when it comes to boys. 

“so, how do you know felix,” hyunjin questions. 

“oh. we study together.”

“ah. we dance together, its how we became friends. we both go to the same dance club.”

“oh, i thought-”

seungmin cuts himself off but hyunjin laughs. “he told you about pride? that's how we met but we became friends in dance. has he kissed you yet?”

seungmin eyes widens, but he nods nonetheless. hyunjin laughs again, and it really is a nice laugh. “yeah he tends to kiss people without thinking.”

seungmin is still thinking about that when their bus stops because he has a crush on a boy who gives away kisses without thinking. but then hyunjin grabs his hand again, and they walk towards the theater like it was natural to be like this together. inside when they get settled, they seat towards the back, and seungmin is glad there not too many people in this theater. apparently they were in a local theater which played movies that were either old, classics, or foreign. they were watching an indie film and it isn't until twenty minutes in when seungmin realizes it's a film about a boy discovering he's gay. immediately he's enraptured, and when the two leads kiss, there's a yearning in his chest, and its like every puzzle piece comes together, and he's almost there, close to his answer. it's at that moment that hyunjin grabs his chin, turns his head towards him, and kisses him. seungmin responds quickly, and yeah, he feels it, that quick heartbeat and anticipation that he's felt before, so unlike kissing a girl. hyunjin kisses seungmin like he means it, and for a second he forgets about felix, but still he pops into his head. he wills him away, and runs his hand through hyunjin’s hair. when he pulls back he has his answer. 

“im gay,” seungmin says. hyunjin laughs.

“yeah, me too.” 

***

hyunjin walks seungmin back home after they explored more stores and cafes after their movie. when he drops him of his porch, hyunjin asks for another kiss, and seungmin doesn't bother to say anything, and kisses him again. 

the drop of his stomach when the door opens and his mother’s gasp reaches his ear is immense, and all the happiness flies away. “seungmin!” 

“mom,” seungmin says softly. “i thought you weren't here until next week.”

“what, so you could slack off your studying and - and kiss other boys?! seungmin! get in here,” she says, and hyunjin tries to protest, but she spits at his feet and slams the door in his face. he hopes hyunjin is ok. his mother drags him to his bedroom, and she shoves him inside, and he trips onto the floor. “i trusted you and you do this to your parents?! do you know what everyone will say if they see you around homosexuals? i thought you knew better than this!” 

“sorry mom,” seungmin says with his head down. his mom gasps in disbelief, and she touches her head like she feels a headache. “please don't tell dad.”

she looks at him, and she softens. she kneels next to him and begins caressing his hair. “of course i won't tell him. but enough of this nonsense, ok? we want our son to succeed in life.”

he grabs her hand and holds onto it. “i know. i'm sorry.”

she nods and leaves the room, closing it behind her. he thinks of the movie he watched. the two die in the end. 

did people like him not have happy endings? 

it makes him cry. 

***

he feels lost for a couple days. he can't bring himself to face felix or hyunjin. yet, he knows people should love who they love, and he can't let his mother bring him down. so, three days later, seungmin catches hyunjin before his class starts and bows in apology. 

“i'm so sorry about what happened.”

hyunjin places an arm on his shoulder. “its not your fault. it did hurt, but it wasn't because of you.”

seungmin feels desperate; he wants to say more, will away the hurt hyunjin received. instead, he moves slowly closer, an offer for a hug, and sighs when hyunjin accepts it by wrapping his arms around him. 

***

seungmin was reading his textbook when felix barges into his room. “alright, are you ignoring me or something?”

seungmin startles. sure he hadn't arranged a meeting for them and hyunjin must've told felix what happened but he though felix would be okay without having to come to their sessions anymore. guess he guessed wrong because felix was there with his arms crossed and demanding answers. 

“oh. i- my mom, she wants me to focus on my studies again.” felix rolls his eyes. 

“i know that. and i know you went through something a few days ago, but i'm your friend. i want to make sure you're ok.”

seungmin blinks, flabbergasted. right, they were friends. he... feels so conflicted. he wants to say whats on his mind, but it feels like something is holding him back. felix sighs and sits on his bed. he pats beside him, so seungmin gets up from his chair and goes to his bed. there, felix lays down and he tugs seungmin down along with him. it reminds him of weeks ago where they lied together on the bed, inches apart, and woke up centimeters between them. this time, they didn't bother distancing themselves. felix wraps his arms around seungmin and seungmin lets himself be hugged. he's so tired. he's been through a confusing couple of weeks with discovering a new part of himself, only for it to be met with his mother's disgust. felix’s hug brings comfort and acceptance, and he feels like he could be okay. 

“i really like cuddles, did you know?” felix murmurs.

seungmin doesn't say anything but he buries his face into felix’s hair, and though his breath stutters, he calms himself down. felix's hair smells like strawberries.

“thank you lix.”

and just like a few days ago, his mother, without them noticing returns home and she finds them lying there with another gasp. they both sit up. she looks close to fainting, and seungmin can relate. she sort of makes him want to disappear. he can't take it anymore, feeling like he's wrong, like hes committing atrocities just by hugging his friend who he really likes. he wants to yell at her but he can't because he loves her too. 

“s-seungmin! again? why?”

she says, and her voice wobbles, and he knows she's stressing herself out. felix grabs his hand and his mother looks furious at that. “are you the boy he's been tutoring? are you making my seungmin into - into this?”

“into what?” seungmin asks her, masked expression. 

“a f*g!” 

it's like ice cold water falls from his head down his body, and he snatches his hand from felix. 

“mom-”

“no, seungmin, ever since you started tutoring you stopped going to your extra classes, your grades are dropping, and yes they are i’ve spoken with your teacher! can’t you go back to how you were? why are you with this boy, and that other boy too!?”

he can’t find the right words to say, but he knows that meeting and tutoring felix was something he would never regret. it was like felix came into his world and filled it with color. and hyunjin was someone who helped him discover something new. 

“i’m with them because they’re my friends.”

it's at this point where his mother screams incohesive things that he notices felix with his wide eyes and hands shaking. fuck. fuck this. he grabs felix’s hand, and he pulls towards the front door.

“cmon, lets go,” he says, barely putting their shoes on when they dash out the door and run down the street, leaving behind his outraged mother. their shoes stomp on the ground until they make it to the main streets and walk down busy sidewalks. seungmin begins laughing, and a part of it is hysterical, another is freeing. 

“thats the first time i disobeyed her! did you know i hated being in my room all day? i didn't even know that until now!”

felix stares at him wide eyed, speechless for the first time around him. “are you gonna be ok?:”

“not at all. but for now, yeah. with you at least.”

felix at last grins. “are you flirting with me?”

seungmin shoves his shoulder. “shut up.”

they walk until they see a performer on the street playing the guitar and singing. seungmin pauses and stares, and he recognizes the song. he begins to sing along softly, and the song is soft and sad, but seungmin loves the ballad, and without noticing he sings louder. by the time the song finishes, he looks at felix whose staring at him.

“you have a nice voice,” he says, almost in a daze. 

“i really love singing.”

felix grins. “sing for me one day and i'll let you watch me dance.”

“okay,” seungmin agrees. 

they spend the night exploring the streets and when they're tired, felix takes him to his apartment where it's dark and he sneaks him into his room. his room is tidy but disorganized, posters filling the walls. felix leads him to his bed, which is smaller than seungmin’s and plops down onto it. 

“wah, i'm so tired. come sleep with me seungmin.”

seungmin laughs a bit and plops down onto the bed, both laying and staring at each other. felix pulls the blanket over them, and underneath its dark. only their soft hearing could be heard, and seungmin wonders what felix was doing. its like a secret the way felix leans in and kisses seungmin, kisses him until he falls asleep. 

seungmin slips the blanket off of them, and its still hard to see, but his heart aches when he sees felix softly breathing and sleeping. he really does kiss people without a care in the world. seungmin doesn't want their kisses to mean nothing. he wants them to mean the same as when his heart soars at the sight of felix. so he leans down and he plants a soft kiss on felix’s lips as he sleeps, and he hopes that at least this way he he can say, ‘ i really like you. ‘ 

then, he falls asleep, centimeters between them and arms looped around their bodies, warm and comforting. 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiiii how are you?

**Author's Note:**

> pls interact with meeee and also tell me if there's anything else i should tag!


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